homesick

These images of the Ruby Range near Crested Butte, Colorado completely made me homesick for the high Rocky Mountain. My good friend Lori Stone shot these. Her talent amazes me. Our family truly loved living in the Colorado Rockies. Even Joshi and Zayne wax nostalgic listening to John Denver.

this presidential campaign

Is anyone else unenthused about our presidential choices? Mc Cain is too liberal on many issues for me, immigration for one, and I fear he would only make the government larger in the name of fairness. I still have not forgiven the guy for his campaign finance reform travesty. Can you imagine having to listen to his "my friend" line for the next four years? Then we have Obama. Ugh. He proposes to raise our taxes to 20%. No thank you. He doesn't seem to have a realistic view of the economy and society. He'd run our country to hell in a hand bag, idealistically thinking he was making the world a better place all the while. So, between the two lack-luster candidates I would have to choose McCain, wishing that his V.P. was in his place.

bad hair

Yes folks, that is me. Aren't those bangs just lovely? I have not had bangs like this since junior high in the eighties. I know bangs may be in vogue now, but not on me.

We all have our bad hair cut stories. Some are more funny or emotional than others. They always seem to be more emotional with the female gender. Maybe its because the "hair is a woman's crowning glory," and it takes so much time to grow those long locks. All evidences of a bad hair cut is lost in two weeks on a guy, but a bad hair cut lasts for months on a female. So my female readers might find more appreciation in my "bad hair cut/ bad color" story. Its not funny or emotional but it stirs up the cries for justice from any female who has suffered a similar fate.

I was in Roanoke and decided I could not handle another day with my hair not trimmed and why not get high lights while I am at it? I called up my friend Suzie for a referral because we went to the same guy when I lived there and she always has her hair done nice. (Yes, Suzie, this is all your fault). She warned me that sometimes the guy is hard to understand being from Italy. He finished cutting and it was not the "A" cut that I wanted but something similar. I know I should have left it at that, but I was hoping to have my hair resemble its former style. Unfortunately, I told him that I would like a few thin bangs cut. He said, "This isn't the 80's." I agreed, stating that I hate bangs on me, but these would be below my eye brows, very thin and blended into one side. I naturally demonstrated everything with my hands, showing the mark below the eyebrow. There must have been some language barrier for when I looked in the mirror he had slashed some short, uneven, and narrow, but not narrow enough, ugly bangs way above my eyebrows. How could he have misunderstood that much? They were the type of bangs my mother might have cut, making corrections until they were almost too short to use a curling iron. I gasped then laughed so hard because I looked so hideous and said so. He was embarrassed and tried to tell me that I looked cute. "I don't want cute," I rebutted, "I want sexy and this isn't sexy. There is no way you can honestly tell me that those bangs blend in and look good." No reply. I told him that I will think of him every time I look in the mirror for the next six months. He didn't charge me any money for the butchering. Too make it all better he styled my hair in ringlets but left the bangs sticking out in all directions because they were too short to style. Yeah. I looked like a cowgirl from the 80's lacking the pound of hairspray.

My highlights looked fine until I got home where in real lighting it was obvious that he over processed the bottom part of my hair, weaved it too much in some parts and not enough in others. The bottom section looked grey. Now I expect sympathetic moans from you readers.

Well, back in Richmond, Daniel the hair dresser who usually has a long waiting list, saw my pathetic situation and worked me in the next day. Thank you Daniel! He did what he could with what was left. Below is what came out. The differences are more visible in person. My husband likes me better without the grey.

appomattox

Virginia feels like a humid,firery furnace. Its has been over a hundred degrees for the past several days. Needless to say that this weather can be a bit oppressive and does not motivate one to seek outdoor entertainment. My family showed great love for me as we drove to Roanoke by braving the sticky heat at a stop at Appomattox, Virginia, the ending place of the Civil War. As a history buff wanna-be I always wanted to see the area and house where it all took place. As the sweat poured down my body under my cotton clothes I thought of the soldiers wearing their layers of clothing, amunitions, gun, canteen, etc. and tried not to complain. Living in this century with airconditioned homes and automobiles certainly has its advantages.

I love to look at old photographs especially of Civil War soldiers and imaging their thoughts, desires, lifes, weakenesses and strengths.






Did You Know?
General George Armstrong Custer, of Little Bighorn fame, received the flag of truce at Appomattox Court House that brought about a cessation of hostilities leading to the surrender meeting between Lee and Grant.

roanoke

Seven years ago we lived in a town nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains in South Eastern Virginia. Though we lived this small community for just a year we truly love the area and it's people,considering it home in way. Coming from the Washington D.C. area, we thought this cute little town of 80,000,(county 150,000), was almost rural living for us. La Grande, Oregon is going to be a major change for us with it's population of 13,000, (27,000 county), being the largest city for within a two hour drive.
Last Friday we drove the two hours to Roanoke for an over due visit. We stayed with some of our dearest friends in the world, the Farleys. Pat and Harry are some of the most down-to-earth, independant, Christ-like, good humored, industrious people I know. If I measure up halfway to their examplary stature I'd consider my self doing well with myself, man and God. Talking with them always makes me inspires me to strive to be a better person and worker.

We first met the Farleys at church and became instant friends. I really mean that "instant friends" part. Instantly I knew I had a confidant, gab partner, source for help and a friend for life in Pat. I do not know if I ever felt that kindred connection with someone so quickly. We both say that we must have been friends in the world before this. It is also wonderful that separation and time does not fade that friendship.
Joshi and Zayne love he Farleys dearly and were excited to see them. The kids enjoyed swimming in the pool that Harry built for Pat, wondering around on the farm and reconnecting with their granddaughter, Allysa. Farmer Harry and Sister Farley have been second grandparents to my children. They were so thoughful and planned a a little surprise Birthday party for Zayne with an Indiana Jones cake. They have this family tradition of the birthday person taking a big bite out of the cake with no utinsels or hands. I loved it! This might be the start of a new Kirkham tradition.

We also stopped by the Chris and Andrea Stuart's house, our neighbors there. They were such good people and neighbors. Their daughter Hunter was Joshi's good friend so it was nice to see the girls together again. I wanted to talk with them much longer as so with old friends at church. I could have spent a whole day with the Wassums. The good thing about moving a lot is that we get to make more friends than we would have stuck in our comfortable little niche in Utah, but onbiviuosly, the flip side to that is that we miss them after leaving.

need I say more?

Happiness does not depend upon what happens outside of you, but on what happens inside of you. It is measured by the spirit with which you meet the problems of life.




Spencer W. Kimball Quoted in "A Vision of What We Can Be" by James E. Faust.Ensign, March 1996, 10.

america's astroid

Below is a great article that really helps one visual the crisis of Medicare and Social Security. Hopefully it'll inspire you not to vote for the presidential candidate proposing government funded, universal health care. Our country would not be in this situation if more people would have fought FDR's expansion of government and spending. We need to let our voices be heard and support honest candidates who let the constitution guide them and are not led by potential constituant votes or the political breezes. I keep praying for such canidates nightly.

I do not want to be an apathetic American voter. There was a reason our Founding Fathers granted the vote only to land owners; land owners had a vested interest in the politcal and economic status of the country and were more likely to be educated and to look into the issues before voting. Of course expanding the vote to include other groups, such as blacks and women, was needed, but why do institutionalized people have the vote? Should there be some bar that we have to measure up to to have such an honor and power aside from being 18, and a breathing legal citizen not in prison? I know I am speaking democratic heresy, but it frustrates me when I find out someone's political views and voting records are based on the evening news' sound bites. It frustrates me when politicians try to make it easier for people to vote, such as mail in ballots and not requiring a legal picture ID. This only opens the door wider for fraud. If someone truly cares about the issues they won't mind being inconvienced to excercise their polical voice in voting. It agrivates me when I hear pundits declaring the need for getting more people out to vote as if getting more people coming out for a vote makes the country better. Well it would be if the people were informed and voting on the premise of "what is good for the country?" and not "what's in it for me?" I'll get off my heretical high horse now so you can move onto to a better read by Glenn.

By Glenn BeckCNN

Glenn Beck: The economic asteroid will first hit America when the Medicare trust fund becomes insolvent in 2019.

NEW YORK (CNN) -- Let's say a giant asteroid was headed toward Earth right now and experts say it has a good chance of ending civilization as we know it. Let's also say that we've known about this asteroid for years but even as it gets closer and closer our leaders do nothing.
"Don't worry," they tell us, "The next administration will figure something out."
With the future of our country at stake, would Americans really sit back and tolerate that kind of inaction? Of course not -- we'd be sharpening our pitchforks and demanding answers.
Well there may not be a space asteroid heading toward us, but there is an economic one -- and the threat to our future is just as severe.

You might think that I'm talking about the recession (sorry: potential recession) or credit crisis, but I'm thinking bigger. Much, much bigger.
Let me give you three numbers that will put this economic asteroid into perspective: $200 billion, $14.1 trillion, and $53 trillion.

$200 billion is the approximate total amount of write-downs announced so far as a result of the current credit crisis.

$14.1 trillion is the size of the entire U.S. economy

And $53 trillion is (drum roll please) the approximate size of this country's bill for the Social Security and Medicare promises we've made.

While no one will ever mistake me for Alan Greenspan, it seems to me that the third number is quite a bit larger than the other two. It also seems very few people care.
According to the latest Social Security and Medicare Trustees report (and I use that term loosely since it has the word "trust" in it) released earlier this week, the economic asteroid will first make impact in the year 2019 when the Medicaid trust fund becomes insolvent.
Only an immediate 122 percent increase in Medicare taxes and a 26 percent increase in Social Security taxes can prevent (or more likely, delay) its impact.


Realizing that Americans have become pretty much numb to these kinds of ridiculous sounding proposals, U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson tried to up the ante this week. "Without change," he said, "Rising costs will drive government spending to unprecedented levels, consume nearly all projected federal revenues, and threaten America's future prosperity."
Now, I know we're all worried about important sounding things that none of us understand, like CDO's, SIV's, and Credit Default Swaps, but did you hear what our Treasury Secretary just said?
"Rising costs will ... consume nearly all projected federal revenues ..."

Translation: Every single tax dollar that is sent to Washington will be used to pay for just these two programs.

That means no money is left for anything else. Nothing. No Department of Defense or Homeland Security, no Department of Energy, no Department of Justice, no Environmental Protection Agency, no Internal Revenue Service. Actually, knowing our government, they'd probably keep the IRS going somehow.

Of course, none of this is exactly breaking news. Our leaders have known about this rapidly approaching asteroid for years now and they've done nothing but debate it. At the same time, I'm a realist. I understand that this stuff is "the third rail of politics," but our leaders' negligence on this issue is damn near criminal. No, correction, it is criminal.

Americans aren't afraid of the truth. In fact, we crave the truth only slightly more than we crave a leader who will actually give it to us. But part of the problem with this issue is that numbers followed by 12 zeroes aren't very relatable to the average American. Instead, try this on for size.

A million seconds is 12 days. A billion seconds is 32 years. A trillion seconds is 32,000 years. And 53 trillion seconds? 1.7 million years.

In an article that will appear in an upcoming issue of my magazine, Fusion, former Comptroller General of the United States David Walker tries a different tactic. He writes that our unfunded promises translate into "an IOU of around $455,000 per American household."

Wow. Does the size of our debt hit home now?

The America that I know doesn't sit around waiting for someone to rescue it from disaster. Besides, who do we expect to swoop in and save the day? Congress? The president? Please -- they're not only the ones who put the asteroid into space, they've also been making it bigger with irresponsible spending on everything from prescription drugs to billions in rebate checks and bailouts.

Bruce Willis and Tommy Lee Jones? They're more likely to be on Social Security than to save it.
And that leaves only us: We the People. Like every other crisis we face, it's up to us to save ourselves.

But how? Be honest, no matter what side of the political aisle you're on, it's obvious that our financial deficit is dwarfed only by the deficit of trust we have in our leaders.

I'm willing to do the right thing for our future, I'm willing to sacrifice, but not when I believe that our leaders will do nothing but make the asteroid even larger.

sing the song! sing the song!

I awoke Easter morning to my children piling in my bed and excitedly requesting, "Sing the song! Sing the song!" The family snuggled together while I sang in my best, groggy morning voice He is Risen. There is something special and powerful about Easter morning. The emotions it conjures up in me rivals the magic of Christmas morn. HE IS RISEN. But it always wasn't so for me. Its not that as a child I didn't understand what Easter was. My parents made sure that we did by the way they conducted our family devotional on Easter and the way they referenced the holiday throughout the year. But the source of excitement for me as a child came from the anticipation of the events surrounding Easter such as that wonderful Easter basket filled with all sorts of wonderful candies and of course the chocolate bunny. Would it be solid this year? Would it have crispies in it? Other sweet childish questions would occupy my mind: When would our mother let us color the eggs? Would mine be the most unique? Could I beat my brother to find the most eggs? Would I get a new dress the year? What makes that Easter Lilli smell so beautifully? Yet, in the back of my mind Christ was there and would would come to the front when my mind would slow down enough to think about him.

When did the excitement for the Christ side of Easter come? I think maybe on my mission it started, yet it came to full fruition while I was in the hospital on bed rest with Zayne. I decided earlier that week to have my own personal Easter service since I would be alone that morning and I still wanted to remember the sacredness of the day. I layed out my tools the night before, my scriptures. Upon awaking the next morning I sang He is Risen, then Christ the Lord is Risen Today. Singing these hymns made me feel so joyful I sung them several times. After singing I read my favorite chapters about resurrection, I Corinthians 15, "Death, where is thy sting, grave where is thy victory?" and Alma 40. I felt a powerful witness to the reality of Christ's resurrection, the reality of every one's resurrection, my family's resurrection as well as my own. Feeling and knowing the reality of the resurrection makes me feel so excited. I am excited to one day hopefully see Our Risen Savior. I am excited to see loved ones who have passed on. I am excited to have a perfect and immortal body. I become even more excited each time another year and new ailments are added to my body. What a truly amazing gift each of us have been given.

That was a special Easter morning I spent alone in an hospital room, and so has each Easter morning been since then, even with children waking me up early happily squealing, "Sing the song! Sing the song!"

obsessions

Isn't it fun to have obsessions? Its even greater to have people around you with the same obsessions. As many of know, I kind of am obsessed with mountain biking and the best part of it that Dan is so supportive and takes joy in the sport also. He always makes sure I am fitted with the best equipment, even if equipments outshines my riding skills.


Last year I rode a hot bike. It had a custom painted job in the not so popular color hot pink. I loved it. It caught every one's eye making it a fun way to meet people on the trail. I sent the bike back to Titus because the paint was cracking in some spots. In the hot pink bike's place they offered me a '08 frame. (Titus has been unbelievably friendly to deal with. Thanks EJ). It is lighter due to the new rear carbon fiber triangle and new shape of the tubes. She's a beauty. My sweet husband put the new Motolite together. Just seeing him work on my bike made me feel loved. Naturally I cannot wait to get on this ride. I think a few more weeks ought to be enough time to see me riding again. Yee - haw! Maybe I should start out slow . . . and avoid all rickety teeter - totters that cross uneven piles of logs. Yeah, my obsession can handle that.

Man Ivy

Dan I laughed out loud when we saw the below video clip. Not that it truly describes Dan when he has a cold. The man can be ill and never mentions the fact to me. For example, if he mentions an ailment and I ask him how long has it been going on, he'll reply, "Two years." I am certainly the whiny person in this marriage. Yet, at the time video clip came to us Dan was inflicted with a terrible case of poison ivy and was taking over my role of the noble sufferer/complainer. I had thoughts like the gal in the clip, "Isn't it just poison ivy? Don't you just put some cream on it, do your best to ignore it and move on? How many times have I had it and received the obliged 'sorry' and advice for Chamomile lotion?" However this clip put it all into perspective. It's not just poison ivy, but a totally new beast that only men have to deal with, Man Ivy.

Click onthe link:

http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=316202

blog correction

I did not mean to sound whiny in a previous blog about my last year. We all have bad days, good days, bad years and good years. Why not mention it? Who'd care. We are all in the same boat. What I meant to get across was that by realizing what my worst was I realized how blessed I truly am. It gave me perspective and appreciation for my life. I recognized that if that was the worst than I am spoiled and lucky. No, I am not wanting anymore "learning experiences." So there is no need for sympathy or sorry's; only think, "Heather has had a chance to grow stronger. She needed that for she was kind of whimpy."

life is good

Please vote in my poll on the top right of this page. Its something that I find interesting and have a theory on.

Dan is really going the extra mile in taking care of me post surgery. The man already spoiled me with his attentiveness before this so it maks me feel somewhat guilty giving in to all this service. He reprimands me whenever he catches me trying to carrying something, dabbling in the kitchen or trying to do any sort of cleaning. Doing some of those activities on two crutches really doesn't work too well anyway, yet I found that I can hop on one leg to get around the kitchen more freely. I do this when Dan isn't looking of course. It is a bit tiring and my hip is starting to ache, but maybe I'll get back some muscle tone in my good leg. Aside from my life long scars, my legs do not look like my own any more. Sigh.

At risk of sounding too negative let me say that the past year amd a half has been the crappiest in my life. Of course I couldn't write that the past year was the "crappiest" in the Christmas letter so I simply called it "dysfunctional." A lot of great and wonderful things happened during this time frame; I am only speaking generally. Before this, I do not think a thought such as "This stinks and is the worst ever," has ever occured to me. And if the last year or so of my life is my worst time ever than I have had a pretty darn good life. Yes, my life is good and I wouldn't trade it.

Still Dreaming

So here we are at post sugery again. Things gratefully went well. The doc trimmed up a bit of scar tissue and found what was agitaing my meniscus so much, a broken staple from the last surgery. He replaced it with three stitches. Hopefully everything will be fine now. I told the folks in the OR that I do not want to see them again.

While I am a bit sore, this recovery is way better than that of the October surgery. Knowing that I have to be non weight bearing with this knee, thus on crutches for 3-4 weeks, seems like nothing now. I'll just continue to dream about MTB'n, skiing, running, carrying and rough housing with my children.

Disclaimer: If anything sounds to funny here its the Vicodin talking, not me.

Poodle Freaks

Many of you know we love our poodles, but hopefully we have not gotten too weird with them . . . yet. We gave Butty his first Continental Clip last Saturday. Yes, that is the fluffy, sissy cut that you think of when you think of Poodles. Knowing that some of you love Butty also I thought you'd get a kick out the following pictures. Those are dreads on the top of his head.










Benroyal Dreaming of Chocolate (Mojo) retired from the show ring. Two years in a row at #2 nationally is not bad. There was a family party to celebrate the shearing of his coat. His new look amuses me, fluffy on all six ends. He looks like Cleo from "Clifford the Big Red Dog" but not lavender colored. (I am blogging about my dogs' hairstyles. We are freaks). In Mojo's whole life he has never been free to run, bush wack and get muddy as he is now allowed. Its like he has two years of pent up wild dog in him. He loves to crash through the bushes down by the river. He still has not jumped in the James.

Knee Update

Good news or bad news first? Lets end on a good note so . . . I am having surgery again on my knee February 11 to clean things up and to repair my meniscus. The meniscus was stitched up in the last operation. Why is it not now still stitched you ask? "It's a mystery," the doc says. This whole knee thing is taking months longer than I expected and I miss my lifestyle. However, it has given my empathy for other people's physical limitations, be them large or small.

Onto the good; my ACL is looking and feeling really good. It is so wondrous to be back on my bike again. I am still a slow poky, but that's okay. The wind can blow on my face, birds can bid me "good day," and I can kid myself that it is exercise.

A side effect from the knee situation is that my children have become home bakes. They'd rather stay home and read then bike outside. Are these my children? I need to do some serious reprogramming.

Here's a picture of our new time line.

Back in the Saddle Again

I lost the last crutch on Friday, but the excitement of that loss was overshadowed by the news that my meniscus is not healing right. Tomorrow I am getting another MRI. We are guessing Dr. Laughran will have to do another arthroscopic surgery. Good news is that I got on my MTB Saturday. IT FELT SO GOOD! The song "Back in the Saddle Again" keeps going through my head. Joshi and Zayne like the fact that I am slower than they are and I avoid hills.

On the anniversary of the "not" adoption and our puppies' birthday I had a date with Dan. When I planned it earlier that week I did not realize the significance of the calendar date until the day of. The kids were invited to sleep over at some friends' home and we were alone. Weird. I really appreciated that quiet and together time while those memories came back. We went to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and our bill was over $150! Its a good thing the Park City Radiologists generously gave Dan a gift certificate when he passed his oral boards last summer. It was crazy to see that amount on a ticket for two. We are so cheap! But, the steak was really good and having a waiter only serve our table was ideal. A hint if you ever go there; order the steak, skip all sides and get dessert.

ACL, Screws and Patience

As many of you know I love to mountain bike, a lot. The mountain biking around Richmond one would not consider to be challenging in the least, yet I was looking forward to a new type of training; working on speed instead grinding climbs and rock challenges. At the end of August Dan and I found a fun place to ride with a rocky climb lasting more than three minutes, a couple drops and a rickety teeter – totter that crossed over a pile of uneven logs to another ramp. I nervously, but excitedly tried the new challenge. Not only did I fail tackling the home built contraption but I also messed up my knee when fell five feet onto one leg. Yes, I hyperextend my knee, breaking the knee capsule and tearing the ACL. I also had a tear in the meniscus and sprained the MSL. It hurt like a banshee on fire at first, but I was able to bike the 1 - 2 miles out okay despite reduced mobility. When people ask me how I hurt my knee I simply tell them I fell off my bike. Of course my kids love to tell people the whole truth which causes folks to look at me with the look of “You are such a stupid person to try such a thing.” Only my sisters were brave enough to verbalize it.

I was in the lovely land of denial for about 6 weeks thinking that I could avoid surgery. I finally gave in and had the operation October 3rd. Dr. Loughran put (screwed) in a cadaver ACL and trimmed up the meniscus. Typical recovery is 4 – 6 months. It has been a lot harder and slower than I thought it would be. My meniscus has been given me lots of problems Yet, I must be learning tons of good lessons from this somehow.

Our Standard Poodle Mojo has fallen to the UKC second place in the nation since I have not been able to show him with my knee. Bummer.

Zayne is excited that a space has opened up in the Lego Club. That starts next week. That boy reads like a maniac. He’ll read anything but really loves Garfield comics, Pokemon and anything about dinosaurs. Joshi loves Webkinz, horses and dogs. She can ramble on in her journal for pages and likes writing poetry and songs. I am trying to figure out a way to stop Joshi from growing up. I am sure other parents have moments feeling like that too.

Puppies Leaving

3/11/07

We placed our third puppy this weekend with another loving family. We said goodbye to Powder, Maia and Zayne's favorite, Snopow. It is a bitter sweet experience. I enjoy seeing them go to such wonderful families and look forward to picking up less doo-doo, but I will miss each of their distinct personalities in our home.

Why do I often cry while watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition? Does anyone else feel manipulated emotionally watching this show?